In the aftermath of my son's delivery, my very best friend forever and ever, Krissie, pretty much summed it up best when she said, " You know, when you told me what was going on I thought that is crazy and there is no way it would happen like that, then I remembered it was you and it all seemed so normal".
It all started when my husband came home at the end of September and asked if I would be opposed to him taking a business trip to San Diego. October 1st through 3rd. It was dangerously close to my due date of October 14th, and California is awfully far away, but I figured that it was still too soon to deliver and it would all be fine. Sam's boss assured him that he could be on the first flight back to Texas and my wonderful mother volunteered to stay with me "just-in case". "Better safe than sorry" mom said. It's funny how mom's know these things, huh?
Baby Callan woke me up around 1:30 am on October 3rd. I was having some pretty serious contractions. I'd been having some false labor so I headed for a bubble bath and popped some tylenol in an attempt to keep the contractions at bay. After all, I thought to myself, there is no way I would go into labor without Sam in town. It became pretty clear after 30 minutes that this was the real deal. I got dressed, packed Mallory's lunch for pre-school, and made double sure my hospital bag was packed. I called Sam at 2:30 am California time and told him he better book a ticket back to Texas ASAP. Then I drank what seemed like a gallon of water and ate some breakfast while I waited for my mom to wake up. Of course she came down the stairs and immediately knew what was going on. I told her I wanted to keep Mallory's day a normal as possible. I said she should drop me off at the hospital and take Mal to school on time then just meet me at the hospital.
I sent e-mails to my family and friends letting them know the news. Sam's sweet aunt volunteered to come sit with me at the hospital until my mom arrived which was great. I told her I would be there in 5 minutes and she said she was on her way. When I arrived, of course, there was no one to check me in so I waited patiently...a.k.a. I was checking out sofas in the waiting room making sure they were comfortable enough to give birth on. None looked up to par, but there was a black leather one that I decided would get the job done if need be. I was jolted back to reality by some startling screams of some girl entering the room yelling that she was in labor. I do mean she was screaming...SCREAMING. When the lady that checks you in to the hospital made it back to her desk I just looked at her and told her the other girl could go first. She nodded and laughed like I was so hilarious and whispered that the other girl was probably just doing it for attention. I didn't want to find out, I just really needed her to put a cork in it. Coincidentally, my screaming waiting room buddy was named Mallory...I made a mental note to discuss composure with MY Mallory at every point throughout her life.
Once I was checked in and walking to my room, I ran into my OB. Her exact words were "I did not expect to see you here, we need to have this baby before 3 pm". I totally agreed. This may turn some people off, but doc and I are on the same wave-legnth. It was almost exactly what I needed to hear. I told her Sam was landing at 11 am so we'd shoot for 1:30. Doctor Westmoreland agreed and I was glad we had our plan in place. I'm a slight hippy, so we agreed no pitocin, but yes to that epidural.
Once my epidural was in place, I was ready to rock and roll. My nurse told me to push the button until I couldn't feel pain, but to stop when I was numb. By the third button tap I felt like my legs had melted off, so I gave the button one...okay two more pushes...just to be on the safe side. It was 9:30 and I was going to lay in bed and negotiate with this baby and God to stay in place until my husband walked through those doors. Now that I think about it, that was kind of dumb because I have never really succeeded at successfully negotiating with God before. Normally, it goes something like okay God if you do this I will do this. And then he normally responds with, no we're going to do it my way. And that is basically...okay that is exactly what he did this time too.
At 10:30 I was probably ready to have that baby. But I convinced myself and my nurse that I could wait it out. So we...well I... rotated side to side to prolong...yeah, I said PROLONG...the labor and avoid any dips that may happen to the babies heart beat. I could tell my mom was beginning to worry about her stubborn daughter at that point. She didn't even really discuss it with me, because she knew I would say no. She just looked at the nurse and said, Look my son in law and I get along really well, he'll know that we tried everything and won't be too upset if we deliver the baby now. My nurse, just looked at me like, maybe you should listen to your mom. I just said okay we can do it, and she called my doctor to come in. This is the part where I should say it was NOT in my birth plan or life plan, for that matter, to deliver a child in front of my mother. I love her, but it's my mom and there is a part of me that is still that per-pubescent red-headed teen with unruly hair that freaks out about her mom seeing any part of her body that a Hazmat won't cover. However, it ended up fine and I am glad she was there although I am still completely freaked out. I think I pushed maybe twice... more like one in a half and I had a beautiful, brown haired baby BOY at 11:12 am. As my mommy was cutting Callan Saunders Craig's cord, I hear her phone ring and my husband say he was on his way. My mom said well, Sam, you may be a little late. I could hear elation in his voice and excitement at the fact that he had a new boy...a sweet completion to our family. Sam walked through the doors of my room at 11:30 am. Better late than never, hubster, better late than never.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Tu-Two
Happy Second Birthday, Mallory Isla Craig!
I can't believe my little girl is officially two...or you will be at 10:45 a.m. I've held off saying that you were two for as long as I can, but I am afraid that in a couple of hours I will no longer be able to avoid it.
This past year of your life has brought your dad and I so much joy. Our family has seen a lot of changes, and you have adapted and conquered them as they came. You deal pretty well with life's curve balls and manage to keep that fantastic smile on your face.
We moved from your native state to Texas this year. You were pretty confused at first, but curious and it took about about 5 minutes for you to begin exploring. This year also brought you a new puppy, Otto, which you lovingly refer to as your "sweet buddy". It is such a joy to listen to the two of you run around chasing each other endlessly. You began to form sentences this year as well, and you figured out how to throw tantrums in an attempt to get what you want. The tantrums improve as your language does though. You met time out this year, and some days you spend what seems like half the day there. I hope when you are older you look at it as a time to reflect on your choices and the way they impact your life and those around you, although now, you just say it means you are in BIG TROUBLE. We started potty training this year, and moved to a big girl bed, and learned you were going to be a BIG sister. You got fitted for your first pair of ballet shoes, ran a fever for the first time last week, and had your very first trip to the emergency room.
You really enjoy painting, and create wonderful works of art; I have kept every single one of your masterpieces. Play-doh is another fave of yours and you happily tell me "Look, mommy I squish it" for hours. You ask me to go swimming every day as soon as you wake up, except this morning you wanted to ride your tricycle as soon as you woke, then asked to swim 20 minutes later. We pray every night before bed, and tuck you in with your caterpillar blankie, otherwise you are restless. You also have to make sure that you kiss every member of our family before bed. You sing "I kiss mommy, I kiss daddy, I kiss Pearl, I kiss Otto". After you make sure to give us all a big warm hug that is almost as big and warm as your personality. When we go to the park you love to slide and climb the most, and right now you are scared to swing. You love to run fast and after what seems like several hundred laps, you stop, while breathing heavily and look at me and say, "I'm really fast, mommy". And you are really fast!
Your favorite foods right now are watermelon, strawberries, carrots, tomatoes, and pizza. You STILL LOVE Bubble Guppies. Deema and Gil are your favorites. We have seen every episode at least 20 times except now you are able to interact and answer questions the ask you. You also like to imitate the dance steps they show you and know which steps go to which song. You can count to ten consistently, and to 20 sometimes consistently and sometimes leaving out a number or two. You have a fantastic attention span.
Everyday, at some point, you tell me that your are precious. You are precious, a precious little blessing to your dad and I. We thank God for you every.single.day.
I can't believe my little girl is officially two...or you will be at 10:45 a.m. I've held off saying that you were two for as long as I can, but I am afraid that in a couple of hours I will no longer be able to avoid it.
This past year of your life has brought your dad and I so much joy. Our family has seen a lot of changes, and you have adapted and conquered them as they came. You deal pretty well with life's curve balls and manage to keep that fantastic smile on your face.
We moved from your native state to Texas this year. You were pretty confused at first, but curious and it took about about 5 minutes for you to begin exploring. This year also brought you a new puppy, Otto, which you lovingly refer to as your "sweet buddy". It is such a joy to listen to the two of you run around chasing each other endlessly. You began to form sentences this year as well, and you figured out how to throw tantrums in an attempt to get what you want. The tantrums improve as your language does though. You met time out this year, and some days you spend what seems like half the day there. I hope when you are older you look at it as a time to reflect on your choices and the way they impact your life and those around you, although now, you just say it means you are in BIG TROUBLE. We started potty training this year, and moved to a big girl bed, and learned you were going to be a BIG sister. You got fitted for your first pair of ballet shoes, ran a fever for the first time last week, and had your very first trip to the emergency room.
You really enjoy painting, and create wonderful works of art; I have kept every single one of your masterpieces. Play-doh is another fave of yours and you happily tell me "Look, mommy I squish it" for hours. You ask me to go swimming every day as soon as you wake up, except this morning you wanted to ride your tricycle as soon as you woke, then asked to swim 20 minutes later. We pray every night before bed, and tuck you in with your caterpillar blankie, otherwise you are restless. You also have to make sure that you kiss every member of our family before bed. You sing "I kiss mommy, I kiss daddy, I kiss Pearl, I kiss Otto". After you make sure to give us all a big warm hug that is almost as big and warm as your personality. When we go to the park you love to slide and climb the most, and right now you are scared to swing. You love to run fast and after what seems like several hundred laps, you stop, while breathing heavily and look at me and say, "I'm really fast, mommy". And you are really fast!
Your favorite foods right now are watermelon, strawberries, carrots, tomatoes, and pizza. You STILL LOVE Bubble Guppies. Deema and Gil are your favorites. We have seen every episode at least 20 times except now you are able to interact and answer questions the ask you. You also like to imitate the dance steps they show you and know which steps go to which song. You can count to ten consistently, and to 20 sometimes consistently and sometimes leaving out a number or two. You have a fantastic attention span.
Everyday, at some point, you tell me that your are precious. You are precious, a precious little blessing to your dad and I. We thank God for you every.single.day.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Inside the Actors studio
We three Craig's have been majorly ill the past week. I repeat. MAJORLY ILL...I don't need to go into detail, but it has not been pretty. I am not sure how often the HEB on Market Street, Randall's in Panther Creek, and SAM's clean their facilities, bit if you've been to any in the past week, you are about to get sick. That was a friendly PSA for all you Woodlands peeps.
Did I take this sick time to do important things like pack for my move this week? No.
Did I get ahead on school work? No, I most certainly did not.
Did I catch up on reading...No, not really, but I did complete Love Does by Bob Goff and it's a dang good book, y'all.
Instead I did really important things like lay on the sofa with my husband and child and compare who was the most pitiful. There is no clear cut winner. We watched the same 4 episodes of Bubble Guppies probably 70 times, with a few new ones sprinkled in. I surfed the web on my iPad because I was way, to sick to get up from the sofa and do anything except shower and tinkle (Yeah, I said tinkle). I watched like seventy episodes of Inside the Actors studio. Then I googled the 10 questions Lipton asks and thought loooong and hard about what my answere would be when I become famous, because y'all know its going to happen, okay. So without further delay:
Did I take this sick time to do important things like pack for my move this week? No.
Did I get ahead on school work? No, I most certainly did not.
Did I catch up on reading...No, not really, but I did complete Love Does by Bob Goff and it's a dang good book, y'all.
Instead I did really important things like lay on the sofa with my husband and child and compare who was the most pitiful. There is no clear cut winner. We watched the same 4 episodes of Bubble Guppies probably 70 times, with a few new ones sprinkled in. I surfed the web on my iPad because I was way, to sick to get up from the sofa and do anything except shower and tinkle (Yeah, I said tinkle). I watched like seventy episodes of Inside the Actors studio. Then I googled the 10 questions Lipton asks and thought loooong and hard about what my answere would be when I become famous, because y'all know its going to happen, okay. So without further delay:
- What is your favorite word? Splendid! I don't use it quite as often as I should. Mainly I only say it around my husband, mainly because it makes him chuckle.
- What is your least favorite word? moist, creamy, hate, ignorant. The first two because they sound yucky. The second two because people often use those when they want to feel superior, smart, more educated than someone, or when they are angered, hurt, and confused.
- What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? My husband, laughter, bubbles
- What turns you off? smacking, morning breath, vomit, boogers, and when people encourage me to drink the placenta after my child is born. Pass.
- What is your favorite curse word? F bombs... I am much better about not saying this than I used to be.
- What sound or noise do you love? Mallory laughing
- What sound or noise do you hate? Mallory in pain or distress
- What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I think an actress, or maybe a politician
- What profession would you not like to do? The guy that is in charge of scooping up road kill...or prostitute.
- If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Oh, Jill, how you made me smile!"
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Over.whelmed
Life, lately, has been abundantly overwhelming. At times I feel like I am drowning in decisions and deadlines, while other times, I am able to pause and thank God for what he has allowed.
I just opened up my syllabi for my three remaining classes. I stared blankly as if words on the page were Greek. I need a minute to process and reflect. I did the math. Technically, I can make a C in all three classes, and my average would come out to a 3.87. Alas, C's are failing in classes beyond the undergraduate level. A certain fulfillment comes from those classes where in the beginning you have no idea what is happening and you work your tail off and pull out an A, or an A-. I need to re-visit in an hour with a clear frame of mind. I am thankful God provided me the opportunity to learn, the ability and security to pursue an education far beyond what I would have imagined ten years ago, the stability and determination to stick to it, the financial well-being to pay for it, and the possibilities that come from it.
Sam and I have been house hunting. Nothing seemed right until yesterday, so we put in an offer and now we wait. I keep telling myself that if this house is not our house then it will be okay. We have a roof over our heads. God, I am thankful for our home and the people in it.
We've been anxiously preparing for Mallory's sibling. Thoughts of the adjustment slowly creep into my mind. What if Mallory is jealous, or acts out, or has a complete personality change from the loving, lively, spirited, but obedient girl she is? What if something goes wrong during delivery? What if something happens the last 19 weeks of this pregnancy? Knots form in my stomach with worries for the future. How will I split my time equally so that each child knows they are adored, loved, and a precious gift. I am thankful for my worries, the ability to conceive children is a blessing.
I've been child-free for two days. The silence is deafening and I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I've cleaned. My house is spotless. I've cooked. I've caught up on reading. I've spent time with God through study. I've spent alone time with my husband. I've spent alone time with our dogs. I miss my child and am ready to see her tomorrow. Thank you God, for blessing me with a child to miss.
Hormones have played games with my emotions. I cry at least once a day. I also laugh, anger, and relax once a day. Thanks, God, for the emotions. They mean I am not a sociopath.
Because I am overwhelmed I have not been a good friend lately. It's hard for me to catch up like I used too. It's difficult for me to e-mail, or call, or text daily, sometimes even weekly to let them know that they still matter. This makes me feel like a failure, even though I am aware that my friend's lives do not revolve around me. Most of them understand as well, and know or understand that my silence means I have a lot going on and is not an indication of my feelings for the,. Thank you God, for good friends, far and near. I am blessed.
Mallory drew on our dining room walls this time in green crayon. I have not attempted to clean the walls. I am leaving it for a few days to admire and analyze her artistic ability. A sign of developmental milestones and accomplishment. I am oh so thankful for my healthy girl.
I've gained ten pounds and am currently the size I was when I was nine month's pregnant with Mallory. I continue to walk and lightly exercise, and watch what I eat, so as not to fall into the trap of I will just do what I want now and lose all my weight later. I am thankful for the ability to exercise, and the will power to do it, even though I hate it.
In a nutshell, I have many worries, but in each of those lies some sort of blessed gift. This has come all too apparent to me lately with my reading, bible studies, and insights. While it may seem as if I am an emotional basket case on the verge of a mental break-down, fret not, blog friends. I am simply a thirty year old pregnant mom of a toddler. I find peace in realizing the gifts.
I just opened up my syllabi for my three remaining classes. I stared blankly as if words on the page were Greek. I need a minute to process and reflect. I did the math. Technically, I can make a C in all three classes, and my average would come out to a 3.87. Alas, C's are failing in classes beyond the undergraduate level. A certain fulfillment comes from those classes where in the beginning you have no idea what is happening and you work your tail off and pull out an A, or an A-. I need to re-visit in an hour with a clear frame of mind. I am thankful God provided me the opportunity to learn, the ability and security to pursue an education far beyond what I would have imagined ten years ago, the stability and determination to stick to it, the financial well-being to pay for it, and the possibilities that come from it.
Sam and I have been house hunting. Nothing seemed right until yesterday, so we put in an offer and now we wait. I keep telling myself that if this house is not our house then it will be okay. We have a roof over our heads. God, I am thankful for our home and the people in it.
We've been anxiously preparing for Mallory's sibling. Thoughts of the adjustment slowly creep into my mind. What if Mallory is jealous, or acts out, or has a complete personality change from the loving, lively, spirited, but obedient girl she is? What if something goes wrong during delivery? What if something happens the last 19 weeks of this pregnancy? Knots form in my stomach with worries for the future. How will I split my time equally so that each child knows they are adored, loved, and a precious gift. I am thankful for my worries, the ability to conceive children is a blessing.
I've been child-free for two days. The silence is deafening and I am not quite sure what to do with myself. I've cleaned. My house is spotless. I've cooked. I've caught up on reading. I've spent time with God through study. I've spent alone time with my husband. I've spent alone time with our dogs. I miss my child and am ready to see her tomorrow. Thank you God, for blessing me with a child to miss.
Hormones have played games with my emotions. I cry at least once a day. I also laugh, anger, and relax once a day. Thanks, God, for the emotions. They mean I am not a sociopath.
Because I am overwhelmed I have not been a good friend lately. It's hard for me to catch up like I used too. It's difficult for me to e-mail, or call, or text daily, sometimes even weekly to let them know that they still matter. This makes me feel like a failure, even though I am aware that my friend's lives do not revolve around me. Most of them understand as well, and know or understand that my silence means I have a lot going on and is not an indication of my feelings for the,. Thank you God, for good friends, far and near. I am blessed.
Mallory drew on our dining room walls this time in green crayon. I have not attempted to clean the walls. I am leaving it for a few days to admire and analyze her artistic ability. A sign of developmental milestones and accomplishment. I am oh so thankful for my healthy girl.
I've gained ten pounds and am currently the size I was when I was nine month's pregnant with Mallory. I continue to walk and lightly exercise, and watch what I eat, so as not to fall into the trap of I will just do what I want now and lose all my weight later. I am thankful for the ability to exercise, and the will power to do it, even though I hate it.
In a nutshell, I have many worries, but in each of those lies some sort of blessed gift. This has come all too apparent to me lately with my reading, bible studies, and insights. While it may seem as if I am an emotional basket case on the verge of a mental break-down, fret not, blog friends. I am simply a thirty year old pregnant mom of a toddler. I find peace in realizing the gifts.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Bitter thoughts and pregnancy hormones.
I should have known that today was not going to be easy. It all started last night. My head hit my pillow at 11pm. I didn't go to sleep until 2:30. Those 2 hrs of sleep were blissful. I was awakened by my dear husbands alarm at 4:30. A apparently he had some project at work and needed to be in by six. I tried to fall back to sleep it wasn't happening. Between Sam making big as your face egg and jalapeño breakfast burritos and him tripping one of Mallory's toys the distraction was too great. When he left around 5:40 I finally went back to sleep. Let me preface this by saying that these are my inner most thoughts. I am normally not this grumpy and I am more than happy to be an active participant of life throughput the day. The following is a timeline of my every annoyance and follow-up thoughts throughout the day.
7:00 am- Mallory wakes up. I lay in bed and pretend like I don't hear her chatting away with her stuffed animals and throwing shoes, blankets, and whatever else onto and into the middle of her floor. I ask God a WHY is my lovely child who sleeps until eight or eight thirty every day up and ready to go now. I sleepily stumble into the kitchen and pour her a glass of milk. I walk into her room, scoop her up, and carry her into my room with me while simultaneously praying to God that she will fall back to sleep.
7:30 am- Mal Pal is getting tired of laying in bed silence. I turn on PBS and fix her a comfy little nest in my bed hoping she will sit there and be silently entertained for 30 minutes...okay really 2 hrs. No dice.
7:35 am- Mal Mal taps on my head and yells "AWAKE!" She giggles and then says, "I want breakfast". I sigh and question what I did in a former life that God is punishing me for. Then I remember that I don't believe in reincarnation and that high school wasn't that long ago. This must be part of that pay back my mom, dad, and my teachers talked about as I was growing up. I silently cursed them all for being so smug as I pictured knowing grins and satisfaction on all of their faces.
7:40 am- I begin making Mallory toast with peanut butter and bananas and am stopped dead in my tracks when I hear a blood-curdling "noooooo". I stop in My tracks to see who was dying. No one. Alright, "what's wrong Mallory", I asked. "No toast" she replied. I sighed an over exaggerated sigh and asked what she wanted. Here's what she said "eggs, strawberries, nanas, ray rays (raisins)" I oblige and she returns my efforts with a polite "thank you".
7:45 am- I turn on the tv to let Mallory watch whatever is on that looks age appropriate. I think it was Curious George, however I am unsure because I am too sleepy to decipher words or pictures right now. If I close my eyes perhaps it will all get better.
8:00 am- I'm startled by dog whines and pawing at the door I guess I forgot to feed and let them out.
8:15 am- Mallory comes to snuggle with me. I was about to doze off when tiny kicks start to flutter internally. A sweet reminder that life is about to get better. And more tiring.
8:30 am- I guess I dozed off because I wake to a loud bounce then feel all 20 lbs of my baby girl land right on my belly. I panic for a second then feel response from my smallest child who is just being prepared for love and fun from its big sister. I explain to Mallory the importance of not jumping on baby. She smiles and rubs my tummy, kisses it, and then lovingly says "baby". She promptly hops off and begins making a bee-line for the potty. She's yelling "I poooooopppp" along the way. I spring into action and meet her there. I'm questioning my logic for making her wear a footed onsie that is just a tad too small ( it has snowmen on it too, it's also a humid 84 currently but whatever) However the fear or cleaning poo pants is too great today. I help literally rip the stupid onsie off of her just in the nick of time.
8:35 am- I ask Mal what she wants to do today and she answers with swim kick play. Fantastic, she wants to be a productive member of society. I scold myself for dreading a day that is about to be so fun and pray that God gives me a way to find a way out of my clouded attitude.
9:00 am- I load Mallory up to go to the grocery store because apparently she and Sam expect to be fed on a daily basis.
9:05 am- I pull into Kroger and immediately get cut of by a large ethnic man who parks in the only preggo parking spot. I consider shooting him the bird, while honking my horn and yelling obscenities. Then I remember my study on James, specifically about taming my tongue. I also remember the tiny pair of blue eyes that is watching me and soaking up my every movement, so I make a conscious decision to smile, wave, and forgive the man for taking a parking spot that had clearly been designated for Jill Craig. I'm pretty sure I saw my name on it somewhere.
9:45 am- I'm ready to check out. I head for aisle five. An elderly lady cuts me off and cuts in front of me. I consider strangling her with one of the strings from the helium balloons that is tied onto the kiosk. My plans are curtailed by my outgoing daughter who smiles and waves hi to her. She commented on what a lovely daughter I had. Fine lady, you get to live another day.
10:00 am- Mallory and I are unloading groceries and she asks to color. I give her some markers (part of her Easter basket from my MIL, her Grammie) and paper. When I'm done putting up groceries I walk in to discover her drawing green circles, and green triangles on the wall. The child is satisfied. She's repeating each shapes name as she successfully draws it. I curse my MIL for giving her markers and then remember I'm the idiot that handed her the marker. I pray a silent pray for God to forgive me. I vigorously begin cleaning the walls and asking Mallory to help. Thankfully she obliges. I decide I'm done for the day and then realize its only 10:15. I am so not done for the day. Shoot.
10:30 am- I'm rounding up my dogs and child to go on a walk and stub my big toe on the sofa. Pain shoots up my body. I almost drop an f-bomb but catch myself and yell Fudgsicles instead. Mallory looks at me and questions this new word I've introduced. I explain its like a chocolate Popsicle. She begins asking repeatedly for "chocate". I can't give her any because there's none in the house. She throws a tantrum complete with kicking feet while laying on the floor. I take this opportunity to empty my bladder for the twelve thousandth time in 3 hours. We walk to the nearby park and Mallory happily plays for an hour while I watch and try to do some school work. I open up my assignments tab and decide this can wait for later. I happily slide with my little girl.
From there on out our day turned up. Mainly because I decided to enjoy the day that God gave me instead of letting it be clouded with my exhaustion and raging preggo hormones. In a way this day was preparation of what's to come as I haven't gone off three hours of sleep in well over a year ( and I'm not sure how I did it so frequently in college and early adulthood). Of course my guilt overcame me towards the end of the day and I rewarded Mal Mal with a trip to Target to pick out toys for our beach trip to come...and of course Fudgsicles!
7:00 am- Mallory wakes up. I lay in bed and pretend like I don't hear her chatting away with her stuffed animals and throwing shoes, blankets, and whatever else onto and into the middle of her floor. I ask God a WHY is my lovely child who sleeps until eight or eight thirty every day up and ready to go now. I sleepily stumble into the kitchen and pour her a glass of milk. I walk into her room, scoop her up, and carry her into my room with me while simultaneously praying to God that she will fall back to sleep.
7:30 am- Mal Pal is getting tired of laying in bed silence. I turn on PBS and fix her a comfy little nest in my bed hoping she will sit there and be silently entertained for 30 minutes...okay really 2 hrs. No dice.
7:35 am- Mal Mal taps on my head and yells "AWAKE!" She giggles and then says, "I want breakfast". I sigh and question what I did in a former life that God is punishing me for. Then I remember that I don't believe in reincarnation and that high school wasn't that long ago. This must be part of that pay back my mom, dad, and my teachers talked about as I was growing up. I silently cursed them all for being so smug as I pictured knowing grins and satisfaction on all of their faces.
7:40 am- I begin making Mallory toast with peanut butter and bananas and am stopped dead in my tracks when I hear a blood-curdling "noooooo". I stop in My tracks to see who was dying. No one. Alright, "what's wrong Mallory", I asked. "No toast" she replied. I sighed an over exaggerated sigh and asked what she wanted. Here's what she said "eggs, strawberries, nanas, ray rays (raisins)" I oblige and she returns my efforts with a polite "thank you".
7:45 am- I turn on the tv to let Mallory watch whatever is on that looks age appropriate. I think it was Curious George, however I am unsure because I am too sleepy to decipher words or pictures right now. If I close my eyes perhaps it will all get better.
8:00 am- I'm startled by dog whines and pawing at the door I guess I forgot to feed and let them out.
8:15 am- Mallory comes to snuggle with me. I was about to doze off when tiny kicks start to flutter internally. A sweet reminder that life is about to get better. And more tiring.
8:30 am- I guess I dozed off because I wake to a loud bounce then feel all 20 lbs of my baby girl land right on my belly. I panic for a second then feel response from my smallest child who is just being prepared for love and fun from its big sister. I explain to Mallory the importance of not jumping on baby. She smiles and rubs my tummy, kisses it, and then lovingly says "baby". She promptly hops off and begins making a bee-line for the potty. She's yelling "I poooooopppp" along the way. I spring into action and meet her there. I'm questioning my logic for making her wear a footed onsie that is just a tad too small ( it has snowmen on it too, it's also a humid 84 currently but whatever) However the fear or cleaning poo pants is too great today. I help literally rip the stupid onsie off of her just in the nick of time.
8:35 am- I ask Mal what she wants to do today and she answers with swim kick play. Fantastic, she wants to be a productive member of society. I scold myself for dreading a day that is about to be so fun and pray that God gives me a way to find a way out of my clouded attitude.
9:00 am- I load Mallory up to go to the grocery store because apparently she and Sam expect to be fed on a daily basis.
9:05 am- I pull into Kroger and immediately get cut of by a large ethnic man who parks in the only preggo parking spot. I consider shooting him the bird, while honking my horn and yelling obscenities. Then I remember my study on James, specifically about taming my tongue. I also remember the tiny pair of blue eyes that is watching me and soaking up my every movement, so I make a conscious decision to smile, wave, and forgive the man for taking a parking spot that had clearly been designated for Jill Craig. I'm pretty sure I saw my name on it somewhere.
9:45 am- I'm ready to check out. I head for aisle five. An elderly lady cuts me off and cuts in front of me. I consider strangling her with one of the strings from the helium balloons that is tied onto the kiosk. My plans are curtailed by my outgoing daughter who smiles and waves hi to her. She commented on what a lovely daughter I had. Fine lady, you get to live another day.
10:00 am- Mallory and I are unloading groceries and she asks to color. I give her some markers (part of her Easter basket from my MIL, her Grammie) and paper. When I'm done putting up groceries I walk in to discover her drawing green circles, and green triangles on the wall. The child is satisfied. She's repeating each shapes name as she successfully draws it. I curse my MIL for giving her markers and then remember I'm the idiot that handed her the marker. I pray a silent pray for God to forgive me. I vigorously begin cleaning the walls and asking Mallory to help. Thankfully she obliges. I decide I'm done for the day and then realize its only 10:15. I am so not done for the day. Shoot.
10:30 am- I'm rounding up my dogs and child to go on a walk and stub my big toe on the sofa. Pain shoots up my body. I almost drop an f-bomb but catch myself and yell Fudgsicles instead. Mallory looks at me and questions this new word I've introduced. I explain its like a chocolate Popsicle. She begins asking repeatedly for "chocate". I can't give her any because there's none in the house. She throws a tantrum complete with kicking feet while laying on the floor. I take this opportunity to empty my bladder for the twelve thousandth time in 3 hours. We walk to the nearby park and Mallory happily plays for an hour while I watch and try to do some school work. I open up my assignments tab and decide this can wait for later. I happily slide with my little girl.
From there on out our day turned up. Mainly because I decided to enjoy the day that God gave me instead of letting it be clouded with my exhaustion and raging preggo hormones. In a way this day was preparation of what's to come as I haven't gone off three hours of sleep in well over a year ( and I'm not sure how I did it so frequently in college and early adulthood). Of course my guilt overcame me towards the end of the day and I rewarded Mal Mal with a trip to Target to pick out toys for our beach trip to come...and of course Fudgsicles!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Changes
Oh, hey blog world!
I took a quick time out from the craziness that is my 18-month-old daughter and her loving father to blog a little, because I haven't in a long time and honestly it's like therapy. Here are a few things you need to know
1) I've joined not on but two bible studies in the past month. Over achiever, I know. But really it's my first time and I'm excited to see what all comes from it. I've also met some real sweethearts and it gives Mallory a chance to socialize.
2) Sam and I are pregnant. Well, I'm pregnant but he helped. We are overjoyed. Baby #2 will be here October 2013. The gender an name will be a big surprise. Also, I probably won't mention being pregnant again as I dislike it so much. I know it's a blessing but really, who enjoys carrying around 20 extra pounds, swollen feet, and being so sick 24 hrs a day 7 days a week? Not I.
3) Mallory is growing and thriving. She is an amazing child with an infectious personality. She will start pre-school in the fall (just 2 half days). She's stringing words and phrases together, and beginning to make so many little buddies. She truly loves life. She loves to march, and slide, and swing, and dance. She has a beautiful arabesque. She loves her potty, we aren't fully potty trained yet though. I'm not sure where she got it, but that child is on a strict schedule and she doesn't like to stray from it. For example, nap time is a 2, and if I don't have her in bed by 2 she runs to her room, opens the door, and yells "Mommy, nap" until I walk in and put her down. She keeps us in line for sure, a quality that will come in handy when watching over her little sibling. The more she grows the more I love her. She is a true blessing in this world.
I took a quick time out from the craziness that is my 18-month-old daughter and her loving father to blog a little, because I haven't in a long time and honestly it's like therapy. Here are a few things you need to know
1) I've joined not on but two bible studies in the past month. Over achiever, I know. But really it's my first time and I'm excited to see what all comes from it. I've also met some real sweethearts and it gives Mallory a chance to socialize.
2) Sam and I are pregnant. Well, I'm pregnant but he helped. We are overjoyed. Baby #2 will be here October 2013. The gender an name will be a big surprise. Also, I probably won't mention being pregnant again as I dislike it so much. I know it's a blessing but really, who enjoys carrying around 20 extra pounds, swollen feet, and being so sick 24 hrs a day 7 days a week? Not I.
3) Mallory is growing and thriving. She is an amazing child with an infectious personality. She will start pre-school in the fall (just 2 half days). She's stringing words and phrases together, and beginning to make so many little buddies. She truly loves life. She loves to march, and slide, and swing, and dance. She has a beautiful arabesque. She loves her potty, we aren't fully potty trained yet though. I'm not sure where she got it, but that child is on a strict schedule and she doesn't like to stray from it. For example, nap time is a 2, and if I don't have her in bed by 2 she runs to her room, opens the door, and yells "Mommy, nap" until I walk in and put her down. She keeps us in line for sure, a quality that will come in handy when watching over her little sibling. The more she grows the more I love her. She is a true blessing in this world.
Friday, January 4, 2013
13
The holidays were a lot of fun and we made a lot of memories. I will have to write more about those when I have more time. I don't really do resolutions, but I do set goals and check them off my list.
So now my 13 goals for 2013 in random order.
1. Be more giving of my time to my community- What can I say? I like to "help" when I can an where I can. My parents were both excellent examples of how to be active members of the community and helping out when you can and where you can, my father is especially talented in this area and it's something I hope to pass on to Mallory. My goal is to find some way to give back and help out at least twice a month. Easily doable. In fact I am on track to do this as my first volunteer activity will be Jan. 19th.
2. Find a place to live - Look Sam and I moved in less than a month. So, right now we are renters. Our rent house is nice enough, but not nearly as nice as a home of our own. I actively stalking the perfect street in the perfect neighborhood.
3. Maintain my GPA an graduate with honors- Look let's not kid ourselves. I am one smart cookie. I am actually on track to graduate with honors and at the top of my class. Basically all I have to do is not.mess.it.up. Concentrate, Jill!
4. Eat healthy. I'm 15 pounds heavier then my pre-Mallory weight. It's not 15 pounds of muscle either. Do me a favor and google 15 pounds of fat. Yeah, it's disgusting and a bad example to my child.
5. Spend more alone time with Sam. We are guilty of trying to include Mallory, our friends, and our family in everything we do. Hey, we love them that's not so bad. But it also means we have very little alone time together which married couples need. This year I am going to actively plan a date out each month even if it is only for a few hours or minutes.
6. I am going to try harder to be a Mary instead of a Martha. I will probably write more about this later, but for those of you familiar with the sisters of Lazarus, I am Martha. I will actively work towards being Mary.
7. Set a good example- I struggle with this. Plain and simple. I'm a jokester and a prankster. Ii am the "fun" friend Sometimes it can be misconstrued. Sometimes it doesn't set the best example for my daughter. While I can still be fun, I need to remember that I have a tiny set of beautiful blue eyes on me at all times.
8. Choose my words- I've struggled with this my whole life. Sometimes, I speak before I think. I plan to reverse that this year. Maybe not 100%. A ten percent improvement could make a big difference.
9. Read! I love to read! I used to be an avid reader, I think I maybe read 5 books last year. This year I am aiming for 25.
10. Dance more. I used to dance 6 hours a day, five days a week. While Mallory and I have Dan e parties on a rainy or cold day, or when I've ran out of things to do. I need to find a ballet bar. Immediately. It's great expression, exercise and therapy.
11. Meatless Mondays- Surprise husband! It's only one day a week. We can do it!
12. Judge less.
13. Take Mallory to try one new activity a week. We have a whole world to explore.
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